Vettel, Translated

This stylish hat helps keep me warm when I think cold thoughts of icy, unfulfilling victory.

Thanks to formula for the link (and their timing!).

As a 27-time Grand Prix winner, Red Bull’s Sebastian Vettel is no stranger to crossing the finishing line in first position. As such, we thought it would be more than appropriate for the 25-year-old triple world champion to be one of the first drivers to take our new ‘Finishing Line’ questionnaire, designed to provide an alternative insight into the minds of today’s Formula One stars…

The sportsperson I most admire is…
Sebastian Vettel:
 Michael Schumacher, as I know him best. It could also be Michael Jordan, but I have never met him so I’ll stick to what I know.

I’m hoping that, after, like, my eighth or ninth championship, they’ll have to change a rule just to make it more interesting. . .you know, to make the other drivers more hopeful, I guess.

The best actor in the world is…
 John Travolta.

I was in diapers when Pulp Fiction came out, but I’ve heard he’s awesome in that. Swordfish: awesome. Thin Red Line was really weird, but he was in that, I think. Look Who’s Talking 1 and 2 were hilarious. Battleship Earth is a real touchstone for me. I’ve decided that I’m going to go “full-creep” and convert to Scientology so I thought, what better way to acquaint myself with the church than enjoy some John Travolta movies? Did you want to watch some Tom Cruise movies? I’ve got a whole bunch here. No? Wanna listen to some Beck? 

The most memorable overtaking move of my career was…
 Many – some from way back, some quite recently…

HAH-HA! HAH! HA! Ha! Ah! Ha. . . .Aaaa . . aaaa. . . uh. . .uhhhhhh

My favourite song of all time is…
SV: It depends on the mood. If I really have to pick one, Back In Black.

I like it because it rhymes with “Stab you in the back!”

The best thing about the off-season is…
 Being home.

The worst haircut I ever got was…
 My short hairdo at the beginning of 2007!

I cut it really short after I had dreads! Well, Bernie made me cut them off.

The last time I lost my temper was…
 I lose my temper over small things – but calm down again very fast. A well-tempered personality…

It helps that my heart has adapted to pumping nearly-frozen blood.

My first pet was…
 The family dog – a Dalmatian by the name of Floyd.

When I say “Dalmatian by the name of Floyd” I mean “Team mate by the name of Mark”.

My most treasured possession is…
 My memory.

Who am I again?

The funniest person I know is…
 In terms of humour, Bernie Ecclestone.

I lose my shit every time he does his Andy Warhol impression!

My favourite drink is…
 Red Bull and apple spritzer.

And the liquified hope of the other drivers. I use it like vermouth!

You would never catch me wearing…

Not even the emperor’s clothes!

The best excuse to give your team boss after crashing the car is…
 I am always honest – even to my disadvantage…

Well, honest. . .dishonest. .. advantage. . . disadvantage. . These are all just words, you know? And, like, if we get to attached to meaning, you know? The words just start to hold us back. . . . like slow team-mates, you know?

The last time I lost something was…
 I ‘almost’ lose things – recently I thought I’d lost my wallet, but hadn’t. Even more recently I thought I’d lost my passport, but hadn’t…

Like that time I thought I’d lost all the respect that people had for me? Shit, I had had it on the buffet, like, forever. And I kept telling myself: “Put that shit somewhere safe and where you’ll remember that that is where you put it.” Then, it was recycling day like three days ago and I just grabbed up all this stuff and put it out in the alley. I haven’t seen that respect since then, but I know it’s around here. . . somewhere.

My favourite holiday destination is…

My favourite time of the day is…

Something about the morning air. I don’t know what it is. When you’re, you know, sharpening knives in the morning. It just seems like they get sharper.

The strangest rumour I’ve ever read about myself is…
 That I had bought an Alp in Austria. And that I had signed for Ferrari.

And that I thought Bernie Ecclestone was the funniest person I know.

The best present I’ve been given by a fan is…
 A drawing – of me and my car – from a fan at this year’s Australian Grand Prix in Melbourne.

It was in crayon and I was all on fire, like I was really fast. And I had these huge fangs and claws and I was, like, eating these human bones. And you could tell I was, like, this totally victorious, undefeatable monster. Down in the corner, scrawled, like, really heavily. . .Like, it took, like, three crayons just to write this. It said, “To: Seb From: Mark”. The crayon was flaking off all over, it was so thick. It’s hard to say, really: I know so many Marks. I’m on the Twitter and stuff. . .so many fans. Love the fans!

The best cure for a hangover is…

I’ve been hungover A LOT (lately).

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