F1 Translation Svcs-

The real secret, the real person wearing the mask, is Will Buxton! All along, he’s allowed us believe he’s half-journalist, half-comic relief: a sort of Roland Hedley grid-pixie, bopping around the cars, dodging Grid Girls like so many mini-skirted trees, angling for a quote from anyone willing to keep a straight face in the presence of those headphones. VET, shit. The problem with this VET thing is not that he’s a dick or not, it’s that he ripped off the mask and then rubbed our noses in the stinky dookie of his soul-less-ness. As new truths go, I like this Will Buxton one better. Makes me feel better about humanity.

Nice job, Will! You had us going! Now we see, though, that you are the next freaking Sam Posey! But with My Favorite Martian-style headphones. Hey, when that does happen, dial it down just a notch. Sam is awesome but, sometimes, he goes just a liiiiitle to purple with the prose.

(Confidential to Will: We are totally partying with you in Austin this year!)